Walking along the warm sunny path by the creek, ducks with their butts in the air scooping goodies from down below, it occurred to me that I had to do something.
A huge chunk of you, yes you, my blog-friends, are suffering unduly under copious quantities of white and shiny and cold stuff. I can’t take it anymore.
This morning the phone rang early. Suspiciously early. Sure enough, it was my mother. She’s coming to visit, in a week. She lives in Maine and she can’t see over the snowbanks. That’s where she draws the line and buys the ticket. An open-ended ticket.
So, I figured, heck, if my mom, who can barely see over the steering wheel, never mind the snowbanks, can escape the cold and snowy regions of this great land, then so can you.
I’ve got it all figured out. I live in a 2-bedroom duplex with a one-car garage, a large garden shed, and a sunny, fenced backyard. So yes, you can bring the dog, the kids, the significant other. All I ask is that you each bring a sleeping bag and a pillow. The men can take over Ivan’s room. If you’re into legos, Dungeons and Dragons, or X-Box, you’ll love it. The ladies can camp out in the living room, and my room will become the TV room. Bring movies. No cable, but we do have free Wi-Fi. The adventurous among you can pitch a tent and live in the backyard.
Working Tech Mom, I’ve got a job for you. If you can manage 500 employees, you can manage the household. Margaret Reyes Dempsey, I christen thee Queen of the Tea. My mom can do the cooking, if you don’t mind good old-fashioned New England-style food. A Clean Surface will do what she does best. Each afternoon the table will be set by our resident expert, Lulu’s Musings. Thoughts Appear and Hippie Cahier will be in charge of snacks. Eric from The Rag Tree will honor us each evening with poetry readings. Omawarisan will try to get out of it, but I think he should do the shopping. Carl D’Agostino will be in charge of the arts and crafts activities to be held outside at the picnic table. The Idiot Speaketh and his harem can take over the garage. The Duck of Indeed and my son Ivan will battle to the death on the X-Box as we all watch in awe. The Rose Bandit will keep us all in good spirits with her positive attitude. She can accompany Omawarisan to the store to make sure he finds his way back. Huffygirl, when she’s not out riding her bike, can tend to any first-aid issues that pop up. Mimie from Malaysia may not make it. I don’t think it’s snowing there. That’s too bad, she’s got friends with cameras and photoshop abilities. We probably won’t see much of The Roused Bear, he has a butterfly habit. But when we do, he’s sure to entertain us with stories from the early years of this snowy continent. And Sana, A Friend to Yourself, will be given a place of honor (the big pink chair in the living room) from which she will dispense psychiatric wisdom to those of us in need. And my newest friend, A Frank Angle, will hopefully be able to help me with my Political Science homework when he’s not across the street, giddily playing golf.
So get your tickets, dearies, and as soon as the planes are flying again, I’ll meet you at the airport.